officialtonystarkprotectionsquad:

tectum-tegmentum:

lonestarspidey:

tectum-tegmentum:

But honestly, Tony actually being still alive and giving zero fucks would be so hilarious

• Him showing up at random in other Marvel movies, preferably just walking by with a starbucks cup
• Ignoring all the news, because duh, he saved the fucking universe and now he has to get his daughter to school, so no privat home address for terrorists anymore
• Like, literally no one knows that he’s still alive, except of course for the entire Ironfam and Stephen, who saw this whole mess anyway (and it’s good that way, because let’s be real, Tony wouldn’t be able to rest if the world knew he’s still alive)
• Wong talking to Stephen about Tony’s sacrifice and so on, Stephen just nods, is all like yeah, he’s a real hero and our savior. Next day, he gets a coffee with Tony and calls him a douchebag
• Rhodey probably throwing himself off a bridge, because Tony can’t shut the fuck up that he saved the universe and killed Thanos army. Twice
• Pepper using the same explanation whenever Tony starts whining about a minor inconvenience
• “You survived the power of six Infinity Stones, will you stop crying over a freaking paper cut?”
• Harley and Peter being manipulative bitches and crying in public to make this entire story more believable
• “That dude over there looks like Tony Stark-”
• “That guy? Hah, as if, Tony Stark was way more handsome.”
• Tony going to Vormir and explaining the entire deal with the soul stone to Red Skull for two (2) seconds and annoys him so much that Nat can leave the Soul World again
• Them arguing about who’s sacrifice was more important
• “Without me dying you couldn’t have snapped Thanos away.”
• “Yeah but at least I snapped him away, you were just chilling somewhere in the Snowy Mountains.”
• Pepper telling the world that Tony is Morgan’s bodyguard or some shit and someone writing an article about how that bodyguard could be Bucky Barnes, since he also has a metal arm
• Bucky reading the article and being hella confused

But most importantly: On a warm summer evening, Tony, Pepper and Morgan organize a barbecue in their garden, next to their lake. Peter and Harley coming over and all of them making smores. Rhodey joins them later on, Happy too. Everything is fine as it should be.

Tony Stark would essentially become the Elvis Presley of the 21st Century.

For years after his “death” tabloid papers like the Bugle would be jammed packed with story after story of “I Saw Tony Stark At A Gas Station!” or “Tony Stark Seen At Two Random High School Graduations!” and everyone would just write it off as bullshit, except unlike Mr Presley, it actually wouldn’t be. Not that anyone would ever believe that.

And they would definitely fuel it themselves for the fun of it.

That story about Tony Stark at two random High School Graduations? Peter and Harley told it. Tony Stark at a gas station? That was Rhodey. Tony Stark spotted at McDonald’s to buy some cheeseburgers? Probably Happy.

And Tony is having the time of his life reading those stories, especially when he wasn’t somewhere.

HEADCANON ACCEPTED

(Source: cc-2o2o)